Sidewinder Summoned to the Skybox
“Good evening sports fans, I’m Stu Pot, welcome to the MML Redzone we’re in that time just after Blitz Bowl XIV in the off-season as the gossip mill grinds into action and rumours run wild right before the draft! I’m joined by my colleague in the field Vicente Chambón and where else would he be but the beaches of Tijuana. Every time he heads out into the field he packs his board shorts and flip flops, I wonder why? Vincente over to you…”
“Thanks Stu, I don’t like wearing these board shorts and downing the tequila, I only go where the stories lead me and Tijuana has more than its fair share of Blitz gossip.
The Shots were widely tipped to make it out of the Worlds Division and into the playoffs for a second season running. Arguably the Worlds in Season XIV was the most competitive of the three divisions with five teams chasing a playoff spot going into the last week of the regular season. The Shots have built a reputation on being a high flair, long beach bombing, fiesta team with the occassional sneaky boot when the goblin ref is distracted.
So it was a bit of shock when they went down to rookie franchise London Wombats and nuffle caused the fireball to fizzle out against the Razor Claws ensuring ignominious defeat as the Afterlife team slowly crushed them to death – well until that Michaels chap ended up with his head taken clean off for the dressing room wall by Shots’ star signing – Dick Dastardly.
The big scalp was not enough to cover up the shortcomings and whilst the Shots were a longshot for the playoffs in the last week of the regular season they ultimately came up short when the Timberwolves’ claws came up POWS!
I can exclusively reveal this poor coaching performance from Sidewinder somewhat irked the shadowy west coast VC owner. So much so, I heard from my impeccable inside source, the friendly beach bum, that Sidewinder was frog marched up to the Skybox by security.
Sidewinder wouldn’t speak on camera but a mead tequila between friends and I got the inside scoop a few shots later… he’s in the last chance saloon, no fiesta, only a permanent siesta if he doesn’t come up with the goods – yikes! Brings a whole new meaning to sleeping with the fishes down in Tijuana.
In exchange for his contract and his neck being on the line Sidewinder managed to convince the owner in the Skybox to loosen the purse strings. Apparently fiscal discipline is out and Sidewinder is drafting big this season. He muttered something about Kislev elves but wouldn’t say anything more.
Guess we’ll have to wait till draft day to find out more about Sidewinder’s cunning plan – back to you Stu in the studio.”
