Poachers Confident They Have the Cap Space to Ruin 2 or 3 Promising Careers

DRAGON ISLE – Insisting that he could easily lure server free agents into giving up their hopes for a championship, Poachers GM Rand confirmed Thursday that he was confident the team had the requisite cap space to ruin two or three promising careers this season. “After making moves at the trade deadline to position ourselves, we are poised to sign at least two franchise players who will squander the prime of their careers here,” said Rand, who noted that the Season 5 free agency class was “absolutely loaded” with superstar players that could blow out their kees, fued with the font office, or languish in a coaching system that doesn’t fit their talents. “If we play our cards right, we might even be able to convince tree marquee players to take a pay cut, surround them with marginal talent, then have them wallow in the dregs of the conference for the next half decade and never return to their former levels. And with our promising position in the Season 5 draft, we might even be able to destroy the career of a highly touted celebrity prospect along with them.”