“Evening sports fans, I’m Stu Pot and don’t let it be said that the MML Redzone doesn’t bring you the very latest news in the MML’s Blitz. With the draft over the free agent pool is opened for a short window for teams to pad out their roster before the season kicks off and boy has Sidewinder of the Tequila Shots out done himself this time.
Over to our roving reporter who has developed a taste for the local tequila down in Tijuana – Vincente Chambón what’s the latest?”
“Well Stu the fans on the beaches of Tijuana are going wild with Sidewinder’s latest antics and the Foneyball economics have been abandoned for sheer out and out star power. MML Redzone has breaking news that legendary Soaren Hightower is to join the Tijuana Tequila Shots as starting Quarterback for their inaugural season.
One can only imagine Stu that the mysterious West Coast VC backer of the Shots has opened his cheque book in a side deal to bring under one roof of the Cantina Loca these two legends of the game. The reaction from the fans is at fever pitch as Hightower gives the Shots a genuine Long Bomb dimension to their game in a way that a regular thrower just can’t – even an elf.
You can’t help but feel Sidewinder is extremely pleased with himself in landing this coup – both a brilliant PR scoop to sell more of his mead Tequila and jersey sales bearing the famous QB’s name whilst also giving the Tequila Shots an outside chance to cause some upsets with Hightower being a master in the Elfy BS that frustrates those more leaden footed teams.
I went down to the Cantina Loca last night and it was jumpin’ – in between serving those frat elves on summer break I managed to grab Sidewinder for a quick word.
I put it to him that the Tijuana Tequila Shots was just a marketing ploy to sell more mead Tequila and bringing in Hightower to the team was the cherry on the cake for this marketing b*&$£$*! – Naturally Sidewinder didn’t see it like that and had this to say,
Chambón you’ve obviously had one too many of my free tequila shots, that’s disgraceful smack talk that undermines everything our VC backer is trying to achieve here at the Cantina Loca. We’ve used Foneyball to bring in some of the best, most underrated talent in the game to the beaches of Tijuana.
Adding my good buddy Soaren, with his championship rings, to the starting lineup gives these relatively inexperienced bowlers a leader on the field who has walked the walk. So what if a few more jerseys are sold as a result. We’re here to stay and we want our opening season to be a marker for the future. It’s a long bomb of a chance, but with Hightower throwing the pigskin we can’t rule out a shock advancement to the playoffs
“There you have it Stu, for now beach fires lit tonight reach a little higher into the sky and burn a little bit hotter than yesterday. Will Hightower lead the Shots to something remarkable – only time will tell. That’s all for now, back to you Stu in the Studio.”