Bolton Donks

The Bolton Donks are a rookie blood bowl team based in the North West of the old country. The team began play in the 2018 MML Blitz! season, and is registered in the West Conference of the Blue Mead & Mayhem Blitz! League (Blitz!). The team is owned by Blackout Incorporated, and plays its home games at Wigan Pier, a former nightclub come makeshift stadium.

Franchise History

Background and establishment

The Donks started out as a group of travelling musicians, lighting up the more questionable night spots of the North West to the sounds of bleeps and blogs. With mass brawls a regular feature, after several run-ins with the Police the management started trying out radical ideas to avoid the threat of license removal. They found great success with leaving a ball in the middle of the dance floor and pretending, upon arrival of the cops that the crowd were in-fact, participating in a weekly blood-bowl match.

Over time, the pretend-game became the main attraction, with the locals quite liking having a real way to determine who really was the toughest **** in the town. Following an unfortunate match with some Goblins, where a bombardier blew a hole in the roof the management decided to permanently cease nightclub activities and have taken an empty spot in the Blue Mead & Mayhem Blitz! League.

Team Information

An affiliate member of the Human League, the Donks are an unknown even to themselves at the moment. Needing to replace most of the team in the 2018 draft with actual players and not just slightly aggressive ravers. A recent trial day saw most of the players face down along the white lines on the touchline having eaten a bit too much (totally real) cake. Perhaps this lot will be more suited to Cycling. It all seemed a bit suspicious but the commissioner decided to let it pass as the players seemed to be more interested in hugging each other than having a punch-up. Who knows, maybe if the coaches stop dancing on the graves of dead rats they might eventually get a team on the pitch.

Logos and Colors

The team’s primary logo is an Apple. A throwback to Defensive Coach Cover’s time as a DJ playing badly synced songs on an Apple Macbook Pro.

The team’s primary colour is Orange


The Donks mascot is Gary the Gurner, a local legend who can be seen with his headphones in throwing shapes outside the local Spoons at 10am on a Tuesday.

Players and Personnel

Current Roster

Previous Players


Retired Numbers

Head Coaches:

  • Yudlugar (Season 1 – present)

Assistant Coaches:

  • MC Cover (Season 1 – present)

Recent Team News

Player Union Central
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