Spirits were low in the locker room as the new blitz franchise team from Philly laced up their cleats and sharpened their claws for their upcoming game against the Badlands Rejects. The season now at the midway point hadn’t gone as the team expected and certainly not as the coach expected. The Pounding Fathers with a record of 0-2-1 at this point due to an apparent lack of offensive firepower. This point was hammered home in the previous game against the Coronilla Goats which ended in a 0-0 tie. Seems killing and mutilating were given too much priority in the off season, but that’s what this town likes thought the ownership. Turns out they like winning more, who knew! The defensive captain and real leader on the team Tawr Us gave a before game speech to inspire the troops and rally the offense. They took the field and as hoped they were first on offense, eager to show what they could do. From the initial kick they seemed to be faster and sharper than they had been in previous games and just like drawn up in the playbook scored on their third turn. Tawr Us then set up the D which had been the strong suit of the team and it held true. The Goats were forced into a turn over and Mr. Jingles, who perhaps under the cloud of trade rumors for under performing wanted to prove himself, swooped in picked up the ball and scored his first touchdown of the season giving the Fathers their first two score game of the season. Even through the elation of the home crowd their was something in the air, as though disaster was just on the horizon.
Going into the second half the rejects were due to receive the kick and Dirty Derek, their chain saw wielding maniac was still on the pitch thanks to a combination of glad handing the refs by the Rejects coach and the fact that Derek apparently wore his iron skin that day. Having twice survived the chain saw flying into the air and falling on him he was an ever present sense of roaming death. Early in the second half Tawr Us saw an opportunity and took it upon himself as he done in every other game to throw caution to the wind and sprinted toward the ball carrier at full speed with no support. Snot spewing and hooves stomping he crashed into the Rejects ball carrier but could not knock him down. The Rejects immediately responded by overwhelming Tawr Us and knocking him to the ground. As he lay there regaining his senses the whole stadium heard the ominous sound of that chain saw motor throttling up and the little maniac racing across the pitch towards a helpless Tawr Us. Afterward the coach of the Rejects would say Derek was only supposed to go for his ankles but it must have slipped because the blades struck home right in the neck severing his head on the spot. And just like that the fan favorite, ultimate teammate and defensive captain Tawr Us was gone forever. In their sudden dismay the defensive collapsed and Derek continued to wreak havoc removing all but five players as the Rejects walked into the end zone. After the ensuing kickoff the remaining players were able to hold off the Rejects until time expired and secured their first Blitz victory. Later team Captain Big Bubba Grimes was quoted as saying “miss bull, bull friend, win had to” . As stated he is the captain not the spokesperson. As the players departed the taste was bitter sweet their first victory but a forever loss.