Exclusive: Sidewinder uses murky ‘Foneyball’ to build Tijuana Franchise from scratch

“Good evening sports fans, Stu Pot here, and boy was that an exciting draft Blitz MML draft! Coach Ntb leading the charge with the Butetown Brawlers spent an insane half a million gold coins to jump the queue to secure the first expansion pick.

With some highly questionable wizardry from a back street Skaven Witch Rat Doctor coach Ntb has raised the infamous Wardancer ‘Z to The T’ from the dead for one last dance. Boy that Wardancer strikes fear into the hearts of even the stoutest chorf – it’s gonna be a wild ride once again.

Whilst last season’s Blitz Champions led by Coach Sturm largely sat out the draft happy with his roster of champions. Big movers this draft seen the Dunsford Do Lilly Taps with GM Momo McPhee buying up all the first draft picks he could get his hands on. With all the Claw Pombers that team has got they should invest in installing sunken trampolines into the pitch to help them get back up!

Although we here at MML Redzone like to bring you the stories that slip under the radar. Over to my good friend Vincente Chambón who’s getting accustomed to reporting on the beaches of Tijuana with mead tequila in hand – Vincente what have you got for us?”

“Good evening, Stu, what can I say – well the mead tequila here at Cantina Loca is gggreeeaaat!”

(off camera: Stu says, ‘pssst, director is he drunk on tequila again?’)

“But more seriously Stu, Sidewinder having courted controversy with the Tijuana fans by giving up the first expansion pick of the draft only to deploy the dark arts of ‘Foneyball’ to rescue this franchise before it started. What you might ask is Foneyball? Well Stu, it’s some wild cockamamy theories from a shadowy econometrician who’s never even watched a match of Bloodbowl.

Downing a few more of Sidewinder’s worst tequila shots, he’s a sadist, I was able to get Sidewinder to go on the record about the murky goings on of Foneyball”

“So, Sidewinder what on earth is Foneyball and haven’t you staked your reputation on the ramblings of a crazy elf?”

“Well Vincente, Foneyball is all about finding the value in the margins and analysing the stats in the game that really matter – not just the obvious flash of a Wardancer. Take Dietrich Darcox who we drafted in the second round… great player with potential but overlooked by the bigger franchises for having one leg slightly shorter than the other. However with 45 SPP he’s only a couple of TDs away from being a level 5 blitzer that really packs a punch.”

“Well there you have it Stu, it’s all about recruiting a rag tag bunch of crazies on the cheap that other franchises have rejected and hoping they’ll turn out to be the next Blitz MML superstars… somehow I can’t see it, but I don’t mind I’ve got a case of mead Tequila riding on the fact that Sidewinder should have stuck to serving tequila at the Cantina Loca instead of coaching!

We’ll have to watch how these tequila laden beach bums get on in the first season, maybe Foneyball might pay off, but it’s a long shot – pray be to Nuffle. That’s all for now, back to you Stu in the Studio”