Dicing with OP…
From all round Elfdom messages were flying into Thundens pigeon aviary. Some foretold the doom of going up against the nefarious Count Gerdleah and the broken teams left in the Tunnelers wake… others begged for reprieve from the tyranny of his steel like grip on all forms of Bloodbowl… others simply said nothing but a smiley face with a poop as the pigeons made the aerie into a filthy poop den!
Thunden took his leave and pontificated over the challenge of facing Gerdleah on the pitch one more time… He had been down this road before and it was scattered with broken promises and mutilated players. He’d grown to admire this team of assorted ‘pixies’… they were annoying for other coaches. They had ridden their luck into the finals of the prestigious Blitz! competition after coming close in the first two seasons.
One question remained… How does one beat a coach like Gerdleah?
His positioning and tactical play was second to none, some suggested that from his early appearances in league play he’d been sequestered into a Bloodbowl monastery with former illuminati of the game such as Iggy Max, Sexy Rexy, Knob Creek and others for intensive sessions, only finally being allowed out once he abandoned the Witches Coven to play other teams. Whatever it was he held a preternatural grip on the very essence of Nuffle.
As Thunden watched his merry band of long eared masochists… it suddenly dawned on him. Perhaps the secret to Gerdleahs domination lay in the mystical diet the fabled coach was meant to be on? Perhaps if Thunden could mirror this diet… at least the chances would be even!
Immediately he dispatched Silvanesti Beardhater, P.I.T.A and Fluer Cloven to retrieve the mystical Irn Bru and DF Mars Bars… now… maybe if they were successful he had a chance!